If I Fall...
by Mynuet
Summary: Lina decides to take drastic measures to attract Gourry... She wears a DRESS!


If I Fall. . .  
  
By Sharlene  
  
  
It was a stupid cause for an epiphany.   
  
All that happened was that he looked at her and smiled. The sun had gleamed on his blond hair, making it shine like gold, and his eyes were brighter still. Lina came to an abrupt halt, feeling like she had been punched in the stomach.   
  
"Hey, are you okay?" Gourry frowned and put his hand to her forehead, then his. "You feel okay."  
  
Lina gulped. /I'm in love with him. I'm in love with someone who doesn't even know how to take a temperature./ "Yeah, Gourry, I'm fine. Just... Had some gas, that's all." /Ugh. What kind of stupid thing to say was that?/  
  
"Oh. I hate it when that happens." Gourry grinned again and Lina's heart did another little somersault. They kept walking and Lina tried to figure out what she was going to do about this new knowledge. /Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away./ "Hey, Lina, looks like there's an inn up ahead. I'll buy you dinner if you're feeling better."  
  
/Okay, how am I supposed to ignore those feelings if he insists on being nice and making my heart beat faster?/ They headed towards the inn and she was so preoccupied that she was almost polite when ordering the entire menu.  
  
The meal progressed with the usual pitched battle, Lina's thoughts on her new feelings not interfering with her lifelong love affair with food. She noticed a drop in Gourry's activity level and followed his line of sight to a girl. Not just any girl, either. She had long blond hair that reached past her waist, and was wearing a pretty dress that made her look like a delicate porcelain doll. As if that wasn't enough to earn Lina's black and undying hatred, she had a bust of Naga-like proportions... And Gourry's eyes were tracking her every movement through the crowded room. "I'm not hungry anymore."  
  
Gourry took his eyes from the waitress and watched Lina walk away from the table. She'd been acting weird all day, and he didn't know if it was because of something he'd done. Lina disappeared to the second floor and he looked down at the table, still half covered with food and drink. The waitress came over at last, but now there was no need to order more and he sent her away. He ate his way through the remaining food slowly, hoping Lina would be back to normal by morning.  
  
Lina paced in her room, fuming. It wasn't fair! If she was going to have to be in love, the object of her affection should NOT ogle random girls, no matter how over inflated their chests were. Oh, no. /If I fall in love, you're going down with me./  
  
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Gourry was in hell. He could think of no other explanation for the freak show that the day had been. He glanced behind him and the devil in human form that had been plaguing him ducked her head and said shyly, "Is there anything I can do for you, Gourry Dear?"  
  
He shuddered and turned away, trying to control his heaving stomach. He's even dragged her to a magic shop and begged the white sorcerer there for help, but the man had insisted that there were no spells on her, and certainly no ghosts or demons possessing her. Through it all, she had smiled and been the soul of demure femininity. Gourry had never been tempted to hit a girl, ever since he was five years old and his grandmother explained to him that it wasn't allowed. Today, however, the notion of seeing if a smack would wipe that awful, terrible smile off her face was growing more and more appealing. Not that he would, but he was definitely enjoying thinking about it.  
  
Gourry had known there was trouble as soon as he had seen that smile. If he had realized the full horror of what was to follow, he's have gone back to his room and hidden under the bed. As it was, he had gotten distracted from the smile when he noticed what she was wearing. Gourry's breath had caught and he'd looked her over from head to toe and then back, taking stock as he went. Dainty white shoes with a small heel, tied at the ankles with ribbons. A white dress with pink embroidery and tons of ruffles, including one big ruffle all around the neckline, which was round and dipped below her collarbone to hover just above her breasts. She still wore gloves, but these were white and ended at the wrists. Her hair was pulled back completely, tied at the nape of her neck with a ribbon that formed a neat bow. She carried a sun hat and a parasol as she approached the table with small, mincing steps. Gourry wasn't sure what to think. /Is she going to pretend to get married again?/  
  
He redoubled his eating in anticipation of her joining in The Feed. After a few minutes he realized he still had all the food to himself and looked up to see her standing there, eyes downcast, waiting next to a chair. Years of childhood training kicked in and Gourry stood to pull out a chair for her, allowing her to sink into it gracefully. /What the hell is with her? Maybe it's just because she's dressed up./  
  
He sat down and prepared to resume, but when he looked at her, she wasn't making a move that even vaguely resembled her normal eating habits. Instead, she had delicately laid her napkin in her lap and was pouring tea into a fragile cup. As he watched, she carefully picked up her fork and started eating sparingly from the plate directly in front of her. He reached over and snitched a piece of bacon from her plate and she smiled and said, "You can have this plate if you want it, Gourry Dear. I'm not that hungry."  
  
"G- G- Gourry DEAR?!" Something was very, very wrong.  
  
Lina giggled and peeped up at him through her lashes. "You never said anything about my dress. Don't you think it looks nice on me, Gourry Dear?"  
  
"It..." Gourry thought she looked great, but incredibly unlike his Lina. He wanted to tell her to go back upstairs and put her regular clothes on, but he also wanted to get another chance to look down the front of her dress. Self preservation instincts kicked in and he went for the neutral middle ground. "It looks nice."  
  
Her face had scrunched up and he thought the old Lina might be coming back, but no. She resumed her too sweet smile and asked, "What do you want to do today, Gourry Dear?"  
  
And so it had gone all day long. Lina would walk two steps behind him, twirling her parasol and smiling the detestable smile, calling him Gourry Dear until he gave serious thought to throwing one or both of them from the nearest cliff. He hoped like hell that she would snap out of it soon. This new version of Lina followed all the rules of courtly etiquette, which meant that he had to, too. He'd gotten used to traveling with a best friend he could joke around and relax with. This formality was excruciating.  
  
--------------------  
  
Lina was in hell. Whatever had possessed her to choose a dress that required a corset? And the shoes! Lina silently vowed to return to that village someday and wreak a horrible vengeance upon the shoemaker responsible for this torture. He'd probably done it deliberately to get back at her for waking him up in the middle of the night so she could buy everything she needed for her outfit. Oh, he was going to pay. Gourry turned towards her and she plastered a smile on her face, determined to look cheerful and delicate even if it killed her. /It just might. I wish he would hurry up and fall in love with me so I can get out of this stupid outfit./  
  
He sighed as he turned away and she thought it was an excellent sign of progress. Gourry had been a complete gentleman all day, too, so that must mean her plan to devastate him with her beauty and feminine graces was working. She kinda missed the less-genteel Gourry, though. He was more fun.  
  
The two miserable people continued down the road, their backs to the setting sun. Their impasse might have continued forever, but, just as they were reaching the next town, a figure came out of the shadows. "Lina, my love, you have returned to me at last!"   
  
Lina and Gourry goggled as the man kissed her hand, then retained it in his grasp as he straightened. Lina blinked and then looked at Gourry, whose thunderous scowl informed her that he remembered their visitor, and was none too happy to see him again. /Hey, maybe I can make him jealous!/ "Why, Mister Black Fox, how lovely to see you again! Dashing as ever, I see." Lina batted her eyes and simpered.  
  
A sweatdrop formed on Black Fox's forehead, but he shook it off and bowed low. "My lady, will you do me the honor of having dinner with me?"  
  
Again Lina's eyes turned to Gourry, but this time his face was completely devoid of expression. /Well, I am hungry. This way I won't have to eat like a lady for Gourry's benefit and can actually get some food!/ "I'd love to."  
  
Black Fox held out an arm and Lina linked hers through it. Gourry watched them walk into town together, his emotions a tangle of conflicts. On the one hand, she wasn't giving him That Smile and making his skin crawl with her syrupy "Gourry Dear"s. On the other hand, though, she was smiling at someone else, and he intensely disliked the thought of "Black Fox Dear". He followed them discreetly. After all, Lina going on a date didn't mean he stopped being her protector, and the Fox had shown himself capable of getting fresh if left unchecked.  
  
Gourry grew more and more confused as he watched. Lina and the Black Fox walked down the street, and she took her normal long strides, ending up running ahead and then waiting for her companion to catch up. The Fox took her hands in his and started talking in a way that almost had Gourry coming out of his hiding place with a can of whoopass at the ready. Lina just laughed in Black Fox's face and smacked him over the head with her now-folded parasol. She then grabbed the Fox by his long ponytail and dragged him into a nearby restaurant.  
  
Gourry snuck in through the kitchen, narrowly avoiding being put to work washing dishes. He filched a couple of plates of food and sat down to eat at a table surrounded by potted ferns so that he could see without being seen. Not that Lina was paying attention to anything other than trying to consume enough food to feed a family of ten... for a week. Her hat was hanging down her back and the bow in her hair was half untied, allowing her hair to straggle out of its perfect arrangement. He sighed with relief at seeing the Lina he knew and loved reappear from under the ultra-ladylike exterior. He'd been afraid she might be gone forever.  
  
He saw Black Fox's face turn towards him and he ducked back quickly to avoid being spotted. Black Fox rose from the table and went in the direction of the restrooms, but Gourry wasn't terribly surprised when he was joined by the Fox at the screened table. "Is she ALWAYS like this?" The thief's eyes were wide and panicked.   
  
Gourry nodded. "Pretty much. Although if we've been on the road a while, she eats a lot more when we first get to a restaurant or inn."  
  
"More? I knew she was a bit of a tomboy, but when I saw her today, I thought she had decided to be feminine. " Neither man had noticed a crimson gaze locking onto their table and growing nearer.  
  
"Lina's always been feminine! I just don't know why she went so girly today." Gourry rubbed a hand over his tired eyes.  
  
"Isn't that a contradiction?" Black Fox propped his chin on one hand, studying the swordsman interestedly. Lina tried to make herself as small and inconspicuous as possible in her hiding place behind one of the ferns and strained to hear every word.  
  
"Lina might not normally wear dresses and frills, but she doesn't need to. She's a girl all the way through, from her flower soap to the way she keeps her costume perfect, to the way she fills out that costume." Gourry grinned. "Did you know she paints her nails? They're always hidden by her boots and gloves, but she keeps her nails perfect and polished all the time. Maybe she doesn't always make a big production of it, but she's a lady where it counts, on the inside."  
  
The Fox spotted a movement behind Gourry and decided to do his good deed for the day. Sure, it would mean losing Lina forever, but then again, it would mean never having to pay for her dinner bill. "You really love her a lot, huh?"  
  
"DUH. Now tell me something everyone in the world doesn't already know."  
  
"Not everybody, Gourry." Lina stepped out from behind the plant, and the Black Fox took his cue to leave impeccably. "I didn't know."  
  
Gourry's brain locked up from the effort of trying to parse this statement while also attempting to decide whether evasive maneuvers were necessary. All that he could force through his lips was her name, his tone soft and caressing. Her eyes softened and the air around them seemed to fill with glitter and flower petals as they came together, hands clasping tightly. Lina whispered his name and they gazed into each other's star filled eyes. After a moment they sighed simultaneously, then both set off at a run for the still-laden table Lina had shared with the Black Fox.  
  
"OW! No fair, that MY chicken!"  
  
"Hey, I had it first! Gimme back my drink!"  
  
The Feed continued. As it was winding to a gradual halt, Lina looked sideways at Gourry and said, "Well, you love me and I love you, so now what?"  
  
Gourry shrugged and took another drink. "Whatever you want. We can go as fast or slow as you're comfortable with." He set the mug down and grasped her shoulders, turning her to face him completely. His eyes seemed to look deep into her soul as he said, "Just please, never, ever call me "Gourry Dear" ever again."  
  
The End.  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Thanks go out to the lovely Stara Maijka for beta reading and just being a nice person in general. :) For those of you wondering who the Black Fox is, he's a character from the Medieval Mayhem manga (volume 2 of the comics). In the comic, he suggested Lina be more feminine and swore that he would "steal [her] lips and [her] heart"... To which Gourry responded, "As long as I'm here, no one's getting near Lina's lips!". It's a pretty neat comic, and I recommend it, even if I haven't read all of the volumes. 


End file.
